Another one of the stories I worked on while taking the Holly Lisle class: How to write Flash Fiction the Doesn’t Suck. (https://howtothinksideways.com/)

How To Get Rid Of An Ogre

I hesitated outside the wizard’s door. It all looked normal; rosebeds, yard, Craftsman bungalow. Wiping my hands on my jeans, I gathered my courage and punched the doorbell before I could change my mind. Hearing someone approach the door, I pulled my hair a little more over my black-eye. No sense showing him everything at once.

#

That night George came home from work and sat heavily in his seat at the dining room table.  I brought our plates out and set his in front of him. He sniffed, first at the pork chops on his plate, then face up, sniffed the air. Pushing back from the table he rose, sniffing the air more.

My stomach began to roll. “Is something wrong?”

He stopped beside me, sniffing the air around me. His fist came down on the table, rattling the cutlery. “Magic!” he shouted. “You smell of magic!” Reaching out, he grabbed my left arm and pulled me out of my seat.

I woke up in the corner of the dining room, broken dishes and food all around me. Nothing felt broken but I had a huge lump on my head. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was 3am. I picked up the dining room and back in the kitchen, took an ibuprophen.

By 9am I was at the wizard’s house. When Paul opened the door, I went straight in. “The protection spell didn’t work.” I turned to him, standing in the middle of his living room.

“It should have worked,” he closed the door and came to stand in front of me. Again, he hummed and ran his hands around me. “It’s still in place,” he dropped his hands and cocked his head. “What haven’t you told me?”

I began wringing my hands, “My husband is an ogre.”

Paul stepped back. “An ogre! You should have told me. You’re bonded by marriage,” and looked me in the eye. “This is going to make it expensive.”

I gulped, “I don’t have much. How much will it cost?”

“What you value most.”

My mind whirled. “What I value most? I don’t understand.”

He took a deep breath. “Most people don’t know what they value most. You have some time; I’ll keep working. But at the end, you’ll owe me what you value most, whatever that is.” At the door, he told me, “Stay somewhere other than at home tonight. Come back tomorrow. I’ll have something for you by then.”

I’d read enough fairy tales to know I didn’t want to pay what I valued most, even if I knew what that was. I spent the day at the library and went home after a trip to the meat market. “George,” I smiled. “Big dinner tonight.”

It took a whole beef, two pigs, a dozen chickens and a goose. The goose did it; he exploded all over the dining room. “Till death do us part, dear,” I smiled from the kitchen.  “It’s amazing what you can research on the internet.”

The End

499 Words

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